Sand Paper People Part 1

Our LifeGroup last night had a very lively and active discussion. Apparently this is a very real topic for most all of us (in how to deal with Sander Paper people). In thinking about sandpaper (SP) people, I turn to a different approach / spin / SP people from a different light. This is why I’m posting, since I think it relevant and helpful to speak about, meaning something I think useful to address.

In general, I begin with, Just how are we being SP to others? More specifically, to those around us who we are close to? Like our spouse, our Mother/Father/brothers/sisters/? Or those around us we friendship with? How about those we attend church with? Or those whom we are SP to that also know we are (supposedly?) a Christian?

In one of those questions, I often enough think about a phrase (maybe not a very good definition, yet true and applicable): Love is knowing what your spoese’s hot buttons are and deliberately choosing to NOT push them. Things, by my way of thinking, most always involve a choice on my part. I choose to eat something I know isn’t good for me or not. I choose to turn off some TV program when if becomes unhealthful for me or not. I choose to push my wife’s hot button or not in the heat of some discussion or argument or tense situation. If Love is seeking the highest good for the object of your love’ (another phrase / definition I ’stole’ from somewhere), then in being SP people, I will exactly choose to NOT be a SP person in this particular situation to this particular person (whom I love) at this particular time (when the heat’s up and I am more inclined to be the SP person at that point). In choosing to take the higher road (at least for this particular transaction), I am growing and increasing in what I believe Jesus would prefer. Actually, I am more likely meaning I am choosing in not being SP to someone in that particular discussion transaction to act more Christ-like than not.

Just a thought. So, in summary: Choosing to not be SP myself to those around me whom I care for. I’d bet an easy lunch that there are many families for whom one (much more likely the husband I’d bet(!)) is being SP to the other. Hot topic? Yes, it’s an aspect of SP people. But the ’spin’, if you call it that, is one wherein the one doing the sandpapering (& therefore being the SP, perhaps / likely unfortunately) is myself. Better to approach interactions with others in a manner different than that.

Ok. Off my soapbox. I am QUITE AWARE that what I am writing above are comments I am writing to myself about how I deal with others. So assume some amount of my observations are based on me (again, unfortunately) being the SP to someone else. Hopefully, less so as I get older. More exactly, how I SHOULD be increasingly dealing with others. Wherever I am along that line (in becoming less like SP to others) is, to me actually irrelevant. As long as being SP to others is decreasing at a ‘reasonable’ rate. So, thanks for letting me get my writing off my chest. Maybe food for thought for others as well. Maybe even helpful to others. I suspect this is highly relevant to many couples in the fellowship. At least getting this down on (electronic) paper helps me better focus on how to be better than before.

Respectfully submitted,
JohnW