1st off, nothing… but God 2nd off, God starts it all up and WHAP! Stuff everywhere. The snake does some  word twisting Adam and eve fall for it God kicks them out of heaven on earth death strolls in They make babies But the evil/good ratio goes through the roof God turns the flood taps on “waterworld!” Only noah’s family and the animals survive to see the rainbow “Never again” quote God More babies Then Abraham -The 1st jew And his boys Isaac,Jacob and Joseph 400 years on the Jews are a nation but just slave labour for Pharoah Then God waves them out of Egypt through the red sea into the desert via 10 plagues Moses downloads the contract - the big ten rules The Jews break them all Grumbling round the desert for 40 years once Joshua gets them into a land with milk and honey king David sorts out the giant goliath between recording his greatest hits compilation Solomon comes out with some wise one-liners Then naff king after naff king Messing up the people Elijah and the other couriers can’t stop the rot So God lets the Babylon army Trash Jerusalem And the Jews are carted off As slave labour Again Daniel gets to sleep with the lions Isaiah predicts a liberator Esther stops a holocause attempt and, 70 years on, the jews trek back to do construction work in Jerusalem But no shift in attitude: More idol promises wind God up. So he stops talking to them for 400 years. Dot Dot Dot Enter Jesus the Liberator - good with hammers and nails but he takes a career change at 30 and kicks off a 3 year “heaven on earth” tour with his mobile miracle clinic and loads of stories and questions His team 12 love it The public love it The religious suits don’t! Dodgy trial Punishment beatings Public execution -more hammers and nails 2 days later he’s back having sorted out death He’s launching the Jesus Liberation movement Via Paul Benson His foreign rep. Who’s sending out loads of emails Updating people on what it means that Jesus came back to do The sequel: ‘With God in us We can bring heaven on earth Bit By Bit’ All ending up with Jonno’s general memo On how things are going to get Wrapped up: The snake gets bbQd The Jesus liberation movement get limitless life Heaven on earth Absolutely